Real Post

Since I have not posted a real post of substanace in a long time here goes..

When you look at your life and think things are in the past and you have long since let things go you realize that things are still there and nothing has been let go.
I will say things in my life have been a little better lately but solitude brings a lot of things back to the surface..

I have come a long way but I think that in life I have only just begun on a lot of things..

This weekend I went home to try and get enrolled in a diabetic study for type 1 diabetes. They are studying the effect on some new insulin on people that have type one.

I went home Friday and saw the whole family. It was interesting. They all come together when I am there. But when I leave it is back to the normal of being a dysfunctional family.

When I gotup there Friday I went to my mothers after the doctor visit. I ate dinner with my mother at the Mexican place right around the corner from the place where my and BB lived together. Then I went to my grandmothers and saw her for a little while. I spent some good time there.

Went to sleep and woke up Saturday morning. I had some bug in my pants and started cleaning my mothers garage. I do not know why. But, I pressured washed the whole enitre garage after I emptied the contents of the place. I NEVER thought I would see my mothers garage like that. I was actually a little embarrassed. She keeps the cleanest house of anyone I have ever meet and when I went in her garage it was filthy. Rat poo everywhere. Not after the big O stepped onto the scene and cleaned the whole place. It was spotless after the fact.

Then I got dressed and ready to go out for the night. I took the 350Z out for the first time and I cannot wait till I get that car. I have been promised it already so it is just a matter of time. I went to my grand mothers again and sat with her for a while. We talked and I ate the dinner that she had cooked. Then I went to the mills. Ahh the old Mills... Saturday night at that place was always crazy and it stil is. That car can make a dork look hot though. I went and saw my haircut lady and talked with her a lot. Got my hair cut for free.. Yet again..

After that I went back to my mothers house to pickup the truclk so I could go out, out.. I went the fastest I have ever been in a car. 130.. Man was that a rush. I was flying! only from one exit to another so it was not like I was doing this on the sidestreets...
Went out with P, S, and Double D. Went downtown to go to the Stage but as Georgia fans will dictate how we can have fun the whole place was PACKED. We did not get in there so we left for Brentwood to a local bar..
CLOSED.
SO we headed to the Ole' Faithful. The place where many of my nights started.. Jonathan's B&G. Yumm..
Saw someone from my past with BB.
SD. She used to work with him and was someone that she idolized in a way. She loved his lifestyle and where he had been in life. I saw hime with some friends sitting right behind us so I talked to him for a minute. He had no idea who I was at first but I reminded him and of course he remembered the connection.

I have brought myself a long way from having nothing and no one.
I purchased a dryer this weekend to complete my household.
Now I have my own stuff..
Washer Dryer and Microwave.
I am proud of myself.
Although I do have a court date this Wednsday for the 34 MPH over ticket that is BULLSHIT.
That is going to be at least a $300 ticket. NOT FUN.

I had a dream about her tonight. We where in a car and she was on her way to here new boyfriends house. She had no idea I knew who he was and why she was going to see him but I knew everything. It was like I could read her mind. I dunno it was weird. ANyways we got to her new boys house and I got out and started walking home. It was kind of weird. Where I cannot be friend her in real life I have in my dreams. Of course to and from NAshville I listened to the CD that was hers/mine. What is it that has made it really hard to let go of something that did not want me?
Something that I guess was not good for me. Says everyone else but me. I think that she was the best thing to happen to me since sliced bread. I mean come on. I have a job now that most people would not have until they are older and much more expereiced. I have my own place in a large city of sin. I dunno things are not bad really I have a lot to be thankful for because of her. So whatever for the people who try to consoul me and tell me that she was bad for me.

Well life goes on and people choose to stay out of your life. So be it. Not my loss anymore. I am a good person, I have a lot to offer someone. When it is my time I will know I am not going to rush anything. They will come to me.
Hummm..
So this has been somewhat of a post. I need to get back into the saddle of throwing something up everyday.
It is pretty helpful in the sense of getting things out of my head that float around and plus I want a record of things that are to hapen throughout my life.
Anyways I bid goodmornig for now.