finished kitchen. Marble counter tops and all 

This is the 260,000 house 

Corner house for 260,000 

:) 

Living room in the luxury house 

My house is the one on the end the brown one. 

This is the living room. 

view out the back Turner Field is just over the horizon 

Kitchen 

The first to admit..

I am usually the first to admit making a mistake..
I think I have made a mistake..
I let myself be led down the wrong path and led astray from what my gola is..
This house is A LOT more than I could have handled myself..
My financing came back and is totally changed from what I expected..
Soo. I am at a crossroads..
I will explain when I realy wake up in a bit..

This is the location of my house. Notice.. Turner field 

Another year almost gone..

So as I sit here composing this post I am think about the past year..
The changes I went through as a person..
The things I learned as a man. The things I achieved and the things I did not get to..
Christmas was the same thing every year.. Family feuds that deepen the divide between my mother and aunt. Before I even got back home the feud had begun. I may make it sound worse than it actually is, but only because I got the information third hand from my grandmother. Sometimes there is some embelishment there.. But nonetheless.. I had a great time going back to TN. The Day after Christsmas my real estate agent called me while I was walking around Sam's Club doing a little after Christmas shopping and told me I needed to turn in my notice to my apartment complex. Now that news made me so nervous.. I mean more so not nervous but came to the realization that I am embarking on this.. I am about to buy a house.. I am about to be a small percentage in the US.. a homeowner.. Oh well.. I mean I am still unmarried.. no kids.. not yet at least and fairly stable job.. Now a homeowner?.. Wow.. That to me is kind of neato.. The day I close on the house I will show up the the closing totally clean shaven and nice and neat. Just for the simple fact that I have moved up in life and need now to be more sofisticated. NOt really but I mean I will look smoething like a homeowner should.
BTW I just woke up from a long little nap..
I did not feel good at all so I did not go into wok I just stayed on the couch...
Yes yes I know I am back to the good ole couch as my place to sleep.. Even though I just bought a very comfortable bed I just cannot sleep in it just yet..
It is so weird.. this time next month I could be siiting in my own home.. I could be living it up downtown Atlanta.. Well not living it up per say.. I will be somewhat house poor for my first year or so buying things that I need for my new investment...
Soo... as I sit here today just rolling out of bed.. I wonder what can I do.. Start packing or wait until two days before closing to pack? I mean.. I just really got my apartment comfortable to live in.. As it was not comfortable before but I just finished painting and decortating my room..
Well I guess I am about to decortate my whole new house.. I am not trying to count my chickens before they hatch I will not believe it until I am sitting in my new house but.. They though just makes me happy..
Ohhh well.. I am composing a year in review post and it shall be up here shortly.. I mean for thosewho like to read what goes on in my boring life.. I know I have promised pictures of the house but my mother has witheld those now for the past week and a half..
Off to sleepy land again I do not feel good again.. Night..

Merry Christmas and all that jazz..

So unknowingly I had to work ALL DAY LONG....
My take on this.. When I found I out I quit.. But then I stepped back.. I just put a contract on a house. I want to put things inside this house to make it mine. I am going to have to buy mad amount of blinds to put in the house. I want a video security system.. I mean I want a lot.. I know things will not come right away but slowly and not to chargethe hell out of crap but I have wants and I will get them.
Fence, finish basement.. I am planning it all out. I guess I am counting my eggs before they are hatched but what the hell.. I have already found a roomate that is VERY interested in moving in due to it being sooooo close to GSU and Tech..
So that is what got me to thinking about my job and whyI should not quit until I get something else loned up. Some bartending job downtown is what I can come across. I know I would find something.. So I put everything asid.. Not to mention the manger at the time I absolutely cannot stand.... He mouthed off to me about stupid crap.. So anyways that is that..
Now a little note on serving..
I am not your outgoing server who stands around and talks your head off.. unless you want me to.. I am the type of server that knows what you want and anticipates what you will need. I will bring your drinks at the exact time that you need them.. Anticipate when you will want that little bitmore of dressing for your salad and or ribs... I never ask if you want it I just know you will and bring it to you. I make the dining experience seamless.. You never will remember my name I do my job and I do it well and I expect gratuity in return..
I never have a problem with the end part of that.. For instance today.. I made enough money to cover all the christmas presents I have bought this year so far... So I mean I am rewarded for my hard work more than ever..
But as I come home to my empty aparmtent I cannot wait until I find out what the future has to bring.
I can just imagine what is going to happen.. I am no where where I wantedto be in my life but maybe I am in a btter place than where I wanted to be... I mean maybe this is where I need to be instead of where I thought I should be....
AllI can do is just keep going on with my life and continue working hard and things will pay off. I think for sure this house is a sure start.
I hope that everyone is surrounding themselves with their family and enjoying this family time of year.
Someday I will have what I want and have my family.. I will be wrapping presents rightnow for my children to wake my ass up at the crack of dawn and eat the SUGAR FREE cookies that they left Santa...

I do not think I have ever put anything in my blog about my thought on dmamaged goods.. sometime I am going to have to visit this subject... But I think for now I have put enough of my thoughts down for a night..

Everyone have a wonderful and Merry Christmas... Remember your family dueingthis time of year and thank them every chance you get for being there foryou when no one else was..

I love all myfriends past, present and those to come. I knowI have probaly not said it enough but still.. I want the to all know through here and otherwise..
Merry Christmas to all... And to All a good night...
CO 12-24-2005

Christmas shopping

So today I went and finished/completed my christmas shopping. I bought things for my family that I thought they would use.. They know that I am thinking about buying a house so big presents where out of the question. But anyways I grabbed my charged up nano and went to Gwinnett Place mall and walked around for 5 hours. Came out with presents for my family and presents for me. Then I had to go to Wal-Mart so that I coud get the stuff I needed for my pumkin cheesecakes.. The title of those are a little longer though really it is a
Bourbon Gingersnap Pumpkin Cheesecake. Yummy.. Made two ways with the splenda and regular sugar.. Gotta cut those carbs out of the mix somehow... So anyways I love being by myself... I mean I would love for more than anything in the world I would love to have my soulmate with me but I do appreciate my free alone time... I have been day dreaming about the house all day long.. My mother approves.. Which is a total surprise. I mean this is an investment nothing more than that. I want this house and will do anything in the world now to get it....
Did I say hoe it out? HAHAHAH There ya go MJ I am gonna stand on my corner and hope for the best!!
But enough of that after spending all day alone I am going to go to bed now. I mean after I start the cooking process.. I have to write a little bit more about to day when I am cooking the cheesecakes in the morning. Till then..
later.

HOUSE!

OK OK OKOKOKOKOKK
I just got home not too terribly long ago from work and I found out about my house... 2 for 1.. We are getting a better deal because SS.. that will be her nickname from now on is on the market for a house as well. SOOOOOO the builder said that if we went together and closed together on the same dat e we could get the house. hummmm.. for a better deal of course.. Now comes the pictures..
The house is a little more then I want to disclose here.. let's just say... I live in Atlanta.. That is all I should have to say but it looks like I will be getting a house come the first of the year.. Now all I need is a wife and some children to go running around the house and I will be all set. The house is a perfect setup for a family.. Floor plan wise.. JUST kidding there is no way in hell I am ready for all that jazz anymore. It looks like I will be living downtown soon enough. We will see I do not believe it yet.. I will see as the time comes closer.. BUT FOR NOW.. I am relishing in the fact that I might be in my own place after the new year..
I DO NOT CARE WHAT IT TAKES.. I will do this.. I will live here and I will afford it. If I have to sell everything I own and become a minimalist for this house I will.
Ok now I am off to find the pictures of this mansion!!

This is the empty lot and a litlle info about the builder.

HOUSE

They want me to close on the house that I want by Jan 16th.
I could be a homebuyer by Jan17th!!!!!
I have to post pictures on the house soon.
Will write more when I get home due to the excitement factor.

What time of year is it?

I know this blog started very private.. But somehow some how people find their way to it.. A LOT of people.. I know I have said mean things.. Good things bad things.. But for the most part this was all a therapy tool for me.. That is all.. I needed someone or something to put down my thoughts in and this just so happen to be it.. I mean I never intended the base of readers that I have now..
Well sort of I have chased off a lot of people due to the fact that I do not write poop anymore.. But I have setup my computer now in my apartment.. Sort of permantly.. Not so much though.. So I mean I will most likely be writing things once again on a regular basis.. I mean I need to. I feel like I am salling back and sliding again.
I just want say that this is an expression of me and how I have felt for the past year err longer now.. But I mean this is who I am.. So people can take it or leave it..
Most people judge a book by it's cover but you get to read the book then see the cover at the same time.
I am a normal person that wants the same thing that everyone else does..
I just write about most of my inner feelings about a subject all the time..
I put myself out there for people to read if they want to. It used to be harder to find but not so much anymore. Myspace has exploded from a year ago when I signed up for it. Now people find this pretty easily. I mean now everyone people surf on there..
BTW I need to change my profile..
Someone found me from work.. ECK.. Not a bad thing but it could be... They know my boss so therefore if they would love to get me in trouble for Myspace and or this blog they can..
I do write about my job contained in this but I do it from home.. Or through emailing..
I do not think anything will ever be said though. She does not even know me.
Although I did express some interest in her due to a few things... She likes WAY TOO MANY of the same things I like... I mean I know that sounds stupid and all. But I have never known anyone to like even close to the same things I like.. Yah know? So I did try to hint.. But I might have scared her off at the promptness of my reply emails from at work.
Nonetheless.. Judging that book by the cover she seems cool... And my age..
So I have always thrown caution into the wind and just wrote whatever I wanted to but I guess I need to be a little more cautious.It is also on my profile at my high school page for people to contact me from High School. I do not see why I should though.. I mean if you wanna read read on! I am not forcing you into my life..


I can hold my own and I have been on myself for a while now.
I am a very independent/dependent person.. Do I depend on people? Sometimes I think I might I mean I like having people around a lot.
But I do like my alone times..
I guess that is going to be the hardest thing to balance in my life.
I need to go hiking soon. I need to get out by myself and leave things behind.. That has always helped me no matter what. Just get my shit and go.


It always seems to happen around this time of the year... EVERY YEAR.. The same old shit.. This year it just got better let me tell you..
First off I want to buy a house bad. I am meeting with the mortage broker this week to iron out things and find out what I need to do for the most amount of money..
It all started Friday though...
Sitting at my desk boss calls me in the office..
"Let's discuss your salary..."
Fill in the gaps here...
They have been trying to re-evaluate our salary as our job to Mohawk is fairly new. So they really did a bad job of coding it from the start. I mean go figure this is Mohawk not a transportation company.
So the salary and all that good junk has been under review now for months. But finally the week before Christmas on a Friday they want to tell us.
For me...
8,000 cut in my yearly salary. I have been working my ass off this whole pas year.. Yes OT helped but it was like I was working not just sitting in my office doing nothing like I say on my myspace account.
Still my overall salary is NOT bad.. it is just I feel a lot less due to it.
Try taking $225 a week from your paycheck and tell me your not going to miss it.

Onward from that..

This is the time last year that I had to go into the hospital on my journey though which I never knew what would happen to me. December 28th 2004 was the admittance day that I had to go into the hospital for no real reason at all. It was still just one month ago that I finally got everything finally straightened out with the insurance company.
So I mean every time this year I just need to be expecting something. It was also this time last year that I lost what I truly and deeply loved. I guess that was the best thing for her. I am very stable now with the fact of what happened and I am able to go for long long periods of time not re-thinking my actions and what not. I think I have been ready to move on for a while. I am just to work driven to go out and try to find anything else out there so I just let the things come to me. I still never go out because I really do not know anyone to GO OUT WITH. I mean I have the daily grind of work...work...work..work.. Home sleep..hahahahah Nothing much deviates from that. Oh I did do something little good for myself today..
I REMODELED MY RESUME!!!
It looks pretty danr good I think.. I worked really hard on that on finished today.. No reason why.. hint hint..
I really hate being alone around Christmas time.. A time for family.. A time for reflection and the close of another year..
John Basedow looks really weird.. I hate his commercials.. Duh if you work out you will look better but some people do not have the time to work out as much as you do to have you awesome ass 8 pack and man boobs.. HAHA
Back to the topic at hand
I am a little down in the dumps I have been going to work nd keeping my office door closed to everyone. I just stay in my office and stay low under the radar. I try to do what is asked of me and be helpful to as many people as possible then go home.
I think I want to go to sleep now and tap a small nap.
It something pops into my head when I wake up I will remember to write it down. Err type it down.

Just some notes.

You know I have not posted or emailed in a post in some time.
ohh well..

Minority..

So for the first time in my life I guess I know what it feels like to be an outcast...
I got up today around 7PM. I had worked all night and until 12pm due to us having a router out.

I was deathly hungry..
Soo I decided to go on an adventure!
What an adventure it was..
I ventured to one of the MANY International Farmers market spread throughout ATL.
Walking around inside the store I think I was the ONLY white person there. Not like I have an issue with race or ethniticity please.. just the fact that I was looked at like what was I doing in their place of business.. Go back to your place is what I felt like they where trying to tell me telepathicly..
Anyways from leaving there I was almost hit by a car that swerved into my lane I swear I came into my lane... Anyways gotta run..

This is the type of dog I am looking at getting for myself.. I think it is just a little TOO much girly for me. I mean people ALREADY think I am queer but I really do not care.. I never have. 

Blurry halloween 

Why am I posting her picture in here? 

This picture is when I was sick and had lost some weight. I looked at this today and realized how terribly skinny I really was. 

This is a chic that I used to know 

Halloween  

This is my office setup. It has changed ust alittle bit but nonetheless still a bad ass setup I can surf sooooooo many pages like this.. 

This is the setup that I did for my boss. Dual screens with a Television for a second monitor. Not really just a 21 inch widescreen monitor 

This is a current picture of me in my HOT DKNY pants... with matching shirt of course. 

A little closeup.. Look at that HOT DUDE! 

Angela.. And yet again since me Angela and Sylvia work at night it is early in the morning. 

This is Gayle she has the office right next door to mine. She works days only and is the Southeast Safety Coordinator 

My Boss Todd EARLY in the morning 

Sylvia also early...  

This is my insulin. Thanks Mattie for working for Lilly and making the shit that keeps me alive!!