What time of year is it?

I know this blog started very private.. But somehow some how people find their way to it.. A LOT of people.. I know I have said mean things.. Good things bad things.. But for the most part this was all a therapy tool for me.. That is all.. I needed someone or something to put down my thoughts in and this just so happen to be it.. I mean I never intended the base of readers that I have now..
Well sort of I have chased off a lot of people due to the fact that I do not write poop anymore.. But I have setup my computer now in my apartment.. Sort of permantly.. Not so much though.. So I mean I will most likely be writing things once again on a regular basis.. I mean I need to. I feel like I am salling back and sliding again.
I just want say that this is an expression of me and how I have felt for the past year err longer now.. But I mean this is who I am.. So people can take it or leave it..
Most people judge a book by it's cover but you get to read the book then see the cover at the same time.
I am a normal person that wants the same thing that everyone else does..
I just write about most of my inner feelings about a subject all the time..
I put myself out there for people to read if they want to. It used to be harder to find but not so much anymore. Myspace has exploded from a year ago when I signed up for it. Now people find this pretty easily. I mean now everyone people surf on there..
BTW I need to change my profile..
Someone found me from work.. ECK.. Not a bad thing but it could be... They know my boss so therefore if they would love to get me in trouble for Myspace and or this blog they can..
I do write about my job contained in this but I do it from home.. Or through emailing..
I do not think anything will ever be said though. She does not even know me.
Although I did express some interest in her due to a few things... She likes WAY TOO MANY of the same things I like... I mean I know that sounds stupid and all. But I have never known anyone to like even close to the same things I like.. Yah know? So I did try to hint.. But I might have scared her off at the promptness of my reply emails from at work.
Nonetheless.. Judging that book by the cover she seems cool... And my age..
So I have always thrown caution into the wind and just wrote whatever I wanted to but I guess I need to be a little more cautious.It is also on my profile at my high school page for people to contact me from High School. I do not see why I should though.. I mean if you wanna read read on! I am not forcing you into my life..


I can hold my own and I have been on myself for a while now.
I am a very independent/dependent person.. Do I depend on people? Sometimes I think I might I mean I like having people around a lot.
But I do like my alone times..
I guess that is going to be the hardest thing to balance in my life.
I need to go hiking soon. I need to get out by myself and leave things behind.. That has always helped me no matter what. Just get my shit and go.


It always seems to happen around this time of the year... EVERY YEAR.. The same old shit.. This year it just got better let me tell you..
First off I want to buy a house bad. I am meeting with the mortage broker this week to iron out things and find out what I need to do for the most amount of money..
It all started Friday though...
Sitting at my desk boss calls me in the office..
"Let's discuss your salary..."
Fill in the gaps here...
They have been trying to re-evaluate our salary as our job to Mohawk is fairly new. So they really did a bad job of coding it from the start. I mean go figure this is Mohawk not a transportation company.
So the salary and all that good junk has been under review now for months. But finally the week before Christmas on a Friday they want to tell us.
For me...
8,000 cut in my yearly salary. I have been working my ass off this whole pas year.. Yes OT helped but it was like I was working not just sitting in my office doing nothing like I say on my myspace account.
Still my overall salary is NOT bad.. it is just I feel a lot less due to it.
Try taking $225 a week from your paycheck and tell me your not going to miss it.

Onward from that..

This is the time last year that I had to go into the hospital on my journey though which I never knew what would happen to me. December 28th 2004 was the admittance day that I had to go into the hospital for no real reason at all. It was still just one month ago that I finally got everything finally straightened out with the insurance company.
So I mean every time this year I just need to be expecting something. It was also this time last year that I lost what I truly and deeply loved. I guess that was the best thing for her. I am very stable now with the fact of what happened and I am able to go for long long periods of time not re-thinking my actions and what not. I think I have been ready to move on for a while. I am just to work driven to go out and try to find anything else out there so I just let the things come to me. I still never go out because I really do not know anyone to GO OUT WITH. I mean I have the daily grind of work...work...work..work.. Home sleep..hahahahah Nothing much deviates from that. Oh I did do something little good for myself today..
I REMODELED MY RESUME!!!
It looks pretty danr good I think.. I worked really hard on that on finished today.. No reason why.. hint hint..
I really hate being alone around Christmas time.. A time for family.. A time for reflection and the close of another year..
John Basedow looks really weird.. I hate his commercials.. Duh if you work out you will look better but some people do not have the time to work out as much as you do to have you awesome ass 8 pack and man boobs.. HAHA
Back to the topic at hand
I am a little down in the dumps I have been going to work nd keeping my office door closed to everyone. I just stay in my office and stay low under the radar. I try to do what is asked of me and be helpful to as many people as possible then go home.
I think I want to go to sleep now and tap a small nap.
It something pops into my head when I wake up I will remember to write it down. Err type it down.