Unleash Me

Sometimes I do nothing but sit and take things in. I listen to my surroundings and remain silent thinking about the whole big picture of life. This is something I have done a lot within the past two weeks.

I have been to Boston on a horrible flight that lasted for what seemed and eternity. Then turned around and got into a rental truck and drove all the way back to Georgia. I then leave and come all way up to Dalton to sit in a hotel room at night and train during the day. Totally flipping my regular sleeping schedule and regular life. If you want to call what I do in my life regular.

I have surprised someone I love and left my dogs to fend for themselves. All and all it has been a very interesting month of September. All this time I have sat around and soaked things in.

Also, recently I went to a funeral for a friend that was troubled and could not handle the whole thing called life. With all the sudden rush of events that have taken place in my life it is hard to put everything together out of my head into the written word. I am not that great of an expressive writer and I have never claimed to be but I am going to try...

If you.. or anyone you know is having a hard time in life give them words of encouragement, give them some hope to continue and pressing on through life. We have all had thoughts of "What am I doing?", "why should I continue doing this and struggling through this crap?", you could go on and on with the questions that we ask ourselves sometimes. My point. We are all in that dark place sometime in our life and we need everyone and everything around us to help pull us through what we are putting ourselves through. If you think you are alone in your life, take a trip, go to someplace where you have never been before and explore life. It will show you that no matter where you go us as humans have the same struggles, the same problems. The only difference really is how each of us as individuals cope with those hurdles and battles we have in our lives.

I felt utterly alone and so small just when I went to the airport. But then I started realizing that we are all in this fishbowl of life together. Sometimes it seems that we are all alone and there is no one like us. But then look right under the surface and you will realize that we have our own small little micro world with the relationships and habits that everyone else has. Being on a plane on the same flight with someone that is that is important in their own mind, is a very leveling experience. No matter how important they are off the plane it happens we are all in the same boat, sitting on the runway. No matter how many tantrums you through and names you drop it is not going to change the situation. There are rules and stipulations that MUST be met before anything can move forward.

No matter how important of a meeting, family function, funeral whatever you have to be at, you cannot change the position you are in with the other individuals on the flight. It could be a very humbling experience for someone with a massive ego, trying to make look like what they have to do is the most important thing not only to them but it must be to everyone else around them. But the truth is when you are stuck on a flight waiting for things to happen EVERYONE is missing something that is important to them. Something that to them is important in their world and they want everyone else to know. On the down side... People do not care about that. They are sitting right beside you and are in the same boat without being able to control the current situation.

Also, I feel it is time for a change in what I am doing. I feel that I am not going in the direction I want to go right now and I want to do an about face. I am willing to work for the things I want in life but it is time for me to be creative. I find it extremely difficult to do what I am doing for a career that I cannot be somewhat creative. Give me a task and let me come up with a solution that is totally creative and outside the box. I have many projects at home that I have to finish that I have started and I feel that this weekend I will be able to knock a few more off of my list of to do things. Spend some time with the boys and get ready for court..

Oh yeah, I have court Monday Morning. I am not going to postpone things anymore. I am going to tackle it head on. I might as well since postponing it will just make the inevitable longer. I do not even think I am going to get a lawyer. I think I will go about things without one.

Tomorrow is budget day. I get to sit down and work out the bills and wat is coming up. Lovely.. My favorite thing to do. Money in Money out...