Thursday, June 21, 2007
New things in life
I have decided to try and keep my writings. I find that it does not matter what I say or do so I am going to kind of start from new from this point on.
This will be a photo essay of sorts of my life. I will always need a place to turn to and have the ability to say what I want and what I need. These are my words and my pictures from my perspective. This is how I see it and I guess that is all that matters now in my life. I must quit... I really must quit ***...
My life has changed so much in the past couple of weeks.. People are going to be shocked and amazed and the changes coming. I just do not want to hurt anymore.
This will be a photo essay of sorts of my life. I will always need a place to turn to and have the ability to say what I want and what I need. These are my words and my pictures from my perspective. This is how I see it and I guess that is all that matters now in my life. I must quit... I really must quit ***...
My life has changed so much in the past couple of weeks.. People are going to be shocked and amazed and the changes coming. I just do not want to hurt anymore.
Gmail - Stress Management
A friend sent me this today.
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, 'How heavy is this glass of water?' Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter It depends on how long you try to hold it. 'If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. 'In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. ' He continued, 'And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. ' 'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. ' 'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. ' 'Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it! And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life: * Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. * Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. * Never buy a car you can't push. * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. * The second mouse gets the cheese. * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. * To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world. * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box 'A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today. . . . . . . I did.
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, 'How heavy is this glass of water?' Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter It depends on how long you try to hold it. 'If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. 'In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. ' He continued, 'And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. ' 'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. ' 'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. ' 'Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it! And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life: * Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. * Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. * Never buy a car you can't push. * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. * The second mouse gets the cheese. * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. * To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world. * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box 'A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today. . . . . . . I did.
It came in my inbox...
In the past two weeks I have got some real bad emails in my inbox. Some take me by total surpise whihle others are that standard junk mail...
Here are some of the titles as of late...
"Hello from your father"
"Hi"
"Something I forgot to tell you"
Life is funny sometimes, you are going along the road which you think is the best trotting along without a care in the world. Then all the sudden you hit a traffic jam and are sitting there for a while not really going anywhere, kind of spinning your wheels per say.
Then the road opens back up again. Then you hit a hhuge detour, throws you from the path you thought you where taking.
I guess it is all about the ability to adjust to the things that are being thrown at you. It all depends on how you cope with it. How you deal with the slowdowns and detours. Generally I can adapt well to change in most areas of my life. Not all though. I have a serious issue when dealing with seperation of people that are close to me, or that I let close to me.
I am going to try and hide my feelings from people as much as possible this time in my life and keep things under wrap and try and deal with them on my own. I need to learn not to depend on anyone but myself. As bad it sounds I have come to realize it to be the truth in my life.
With Monday coming and having to go and find otu what is wrong with me I need to be relaxed as possible, but things just keep on coming to me. I do not want to go to the doctors office with a heavy heart or head. I guess I will have to deal with it.
Here are some of the titles as of late...
"Hello from your father"
"Hi"
"Something I forgot to tell you"
Life is funny sometimes, you are going along the road which you think is the best trotting along without a care in the world. Then all the sudden you hit a traffic jam and are sitting there for a while not really going anywhere, kind of spinning your wheels per say.
Then the road opens back up again. Then you hit a hhuge detour, throws you from the path you thought you where taking.
I guess it is all about the ability to adjust to the things that are being thrown at you. It all depends on how you cope with it. How you deal with the slowdowns and detours. Generally I can adapt well to change in most areas of my life. Not all though. I have a serious issue when dealing with seperation of people that are close to me, or that I let close to me.
I am going to try and hide my feelings from people as much as possible this time in my life and keep things under wrap and try and deal with them on my own. I need to learn not to depend on anyone but myself. As bad it sounds I have come to realize it to be the truth in my life.
With Monday coming and having to go and find otu what is wrong with me I need to be relaxed as possible, but things just keep on coming to me. I do not want to go to the doctors office with a heavy heart or head. I guess I will have to deal with it.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Video link to shooting
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=3531374&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Life..
Just a little insight as to the past couple of days that have added to my freaking soap opera of a life... Where to start..
Well this past weekend I lost someone in my life.
Saturday I was a prisoner in my own house due to some fly by night video production company filming a video in front of my house.
Saturday night I accidentally defaced a national landmark...
Sunday I started having stomach issues again.
Monday actually a normal day except for my seclusion from people. I paced a lot and could not sit for to long periods of time.
I came home and today or early this morning someone was shot and killed on my neighbors front porch.
I have all the while today I had to schedule a Dr's appointment for tomorrow to handle what is going on.
I just got done with my appraisal. I learned a ton about the housing market and the neighborhood that I live in...
Now I am waiting on my mother to get here.
This weekend I have a photo session planned... Was for the family here but it looks like it is just going to be the boys. I have my family portraits that was shot a couple of weeks ago that I have to hang and find frames for and company all weekend long.
Thank goodness I got OCD over the weekend and cleaned about every crack and crevice in my house. I really could not leave anyways so what is the use of trying when I could just stay here and accomplish things... I was not wanted anywhere else.
So if you could find something else to put on my plate right now.. bring it on.
Well this past weekend I lost someone in my life.
Saturday I was a prisoner in my own house due to some fly by night video production company filming a video in front of my house.
Saturday night I accidentally defaced a national landmark...
Sunday I started having stomach issues again.
Monday actually a normal day except for my seclusion from people. I paced a lot and could not sit for to long periods of time.
I came home and today or early this morning someone was shot and killed on my neighbors front porch.
I have all the while today I had to schedule a Dr's appointment for tomorrow to handle what is going on.
I just got done with my appraisal. I learned a ton about the housing market and the neighborhood that I live in...
Now I am waiting on my mother to get here.
This weekend I have a photo session planned... Was for the family here but it looks like it is just going to be the boys. I have my family portraits that was shot a couple of weeks ago that I have to hang and find frames for and company all weekend long.
Thank goodness I got OCD over the weekend and cleaned about every crack and crevice in my house. I really could not leave anyways so what is the use of trying when I could just stay here and accomplish things... I was not wanted anywhere else.
So if you could find something else to put on my plate right now.. bring it on.
To vent
So last night I sat down and wrote about a four page letter to whom it may concern about the things that have recently happened in my life. Why? because I wanted to tell my side of the story and the reasoning behind things and also try to get questions and answers on what happened, I hear different stories from different people and since I cannot get a straight story I want my side heard. Upon completing my letter and proofreading it many times I will post it here. This has always helped me cope by taking the thoughts and ideas that where in my head and getting them out. This has always been a release for my anger and despair and I am not about to stop any of it now. I am not sure who reads this anymore but I guess we will find out.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Hard
I think this is harder for me than anything. I do not know how to dexcribe things but I guess I would say I was blindsighted. I do not know how to deal with this.
I do not know who still has this address or who reads this anymore but I am about to mass post all the pictures that was given to me on here in case something happens. I am worried about losing the pictures and since I have not bought a computer myself I am going to mass post all my photos on here. Also I am making changes in my life and this might fall under the changes that need to happen.
What to do..
I do not know where my life is going right now, nor do I really care anymore. I really do not understand things sometimes but I guess things are better left unexplained and left alone. We all have our quest for answers and information. Sometimes we like what we hear other times we cannot accept the truth. I have so much going on in my life right now I am unsure what to cancel and what to go through with. I do knot this though. I hate being home now.
When someone sticks by you through everything..
There is no use in writing here about this.
I burned bridges that I never should have because of someone. I stayed in GA for something that is no longer there.
I think I need help. I really do. There has to be a screw loose in my head or something wrong. I dunno but things are not right with me, and they have not been for a while now. I think I am going to add to the change that was put on me this weekend by forcing in more changes. I am no longer needed or wanted so there is no reason to be where I am at. I need to really look closely at my life and my situation and see if this is where I should be. I thought it was but I guess not anymore. I do know this though. I need to put this done here more often because I have been slacking a lot lately. I have been so consumed with myself that I have fallen of the path where I wanted to be.
I am so confused right now and left with so many unanswered questions I will have to seek out and make up my own answers. That is the only thing I know to do now.
When someone sticks by you through everything..
There is no use in writing here about this.
I burned bridges that I never should have because of someone. I stayed in GA for something that is no longer there.
I think I need help. I really do. There has to be a screw loose in my head or something wrong. I dunno but things are not right with me, and they have not been for a while now. I think I am going to add to the change that was put on me this weekend by forcing in more changes. I am no longer needed or wanted so there is no reason to be where I am at. I need to really look closely at my life and my situation and see if this is where I should be. I thought it was but I guess not anymore. I do know this though. I need to put this done here more often because I have been slacking a lot lately. I have been so consumed with myself that I have fallen of the path where I wanted to be.
I am so confused right now and left with so many unanswered questions I will have to seek out and make up my own answers. That is the only thing I know to do now.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Extreme home makeover.. Home edition.
I get all excited......
Damn re-run...
Wonder if ABC is happy about Ty's DUI and drug possession charge?
Damn re-run...
Wonder if ABC is happy about Ty's DUI and drug possession charge?
Love
I hate it and everything about it...
I hate the way it makes you feel..
I hate the emptiness you have when you no longer have it..
I hate the pain it gives you when you have it...
I hate the work that you have to put into it...
I hate the person you are you your in it..
Basically.. I at everything right now...
I am going to be bitter for a while...
Maybe it is just becasue I am drunk adn alcohol is a depressant...
Emptiness...
I will get over it and move o n like I have done time and time again in the past..
No worries..
I am better off alone anyways.
I hate the way it makes you feel..
I hate the emptiness you have when you no longer have it..
I hate the pain it gives you when you have it...
I hate the work that you have to put into it...
I hate the person you are you your in it..
Basically.. I at everything right now...
I am going to be bitter for a while...
Maybe it is just becasue I am drunk adn alcohol is a depressant...
Emptiness...
I will get over it and move o n like I have done time and time again in the past..
No worries..
I am better off alone anyways.
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