Life must go on...

Soo I figured out that I am not needed in people's life...
I mean it is cool to blow plans off with me if you just let me know..
But when it is the last minute and I have not heard from someone all week.. I mean come on....
Oh well..
I mean I guess my time and my effort put in something is not appreciated..
I am moving on..
There is better.. I gave her the benefit of doubt for the longest time..
But she has time to find things for other people that are important to her..
Not me..
I am never put into the busy hectic life of her..
So why should I put her in mine?
Ohh well not my loss anymore..
It is soo frustrating to think and hope that I would get to see her all week long to just up and change things..

I will stop calling..
I will stop thinking about her..
I will get over it..
It is so hard to love someone so much and not be able to be recipricated..
I will grow old trying to find someone out there for me..
But growing old doing it I will have fun..
I will not wait for her to come around and figure out what it is in life she seeks..
It is not me..
She is not ready for wha tI have to offer..
Much luck and best wishes but I am not making time for this person anymore.
It is unfair to me and everyone else in my life..
I will forge out into the bold and unknown..
I am not scared nor should I be..
I have been in the situation before and I will not be held down by it..
I understand where she is coming from..
But let her learn what she has lost..
Aparently her life is more important to her than what I have to offer..
I jsut am now figuring it all out..
ohh well.
I am a dick and have a soft spot for people..
I care to much about the stupid shit that I should just forget about..
I am not overreacting..
This is how it is..
I am right and I will not be told otherwise..
Have fun and FUCK you..
Cause when you need something I am not just going to jump on it and forget everyone else.. I am being selfish by doing that.. By getting my fix and getting a little peice of ass.. Soo ohh well.
I can get ass elsewhere..
I had fun at the strip club last night and it made me remember that there is plenty of pu*** out there to be had.. I just have to step up and get it..
I am going out SAT night and I plan do have a one night stand with someone..
Why not be bold and let myself go..
Why not be dangerous?
It is not like it matters..
She must think I am waiting for her to come back...
I wonder if she is.. wanting me to wait to come back..
Ohh well..
She has her own issues..
I hope that things will work out for her in the best way..
I have not felt like I have been anyone in her life..
I am not impact to where she is now..
The most important person she has met lately is Mike and he is her god..
One day she will realize what she has lost in me and I hope she feels like shit..
I am over it and done with it..
I will be something to someone..
I will find someone that will appreciate and cheerish the things I do for them and they will return the favors..

I will press on..