Ok...

So this post is probaly going to be a long one I have alot to cover and have been thinking about alot.

The pictures that are below this post are a few things that have been going on lately.. I was sitting in my office and that lizard of a thing.. AKA A Savannah monitor walked right by my window.. I did not see it at first but when I walked outside I was astonished to see this monster of a lizard. I promptly decided to catch it. Once I chased that damn thing all across the parking lot I finally caught it into a box. I put it in the shade and continued to work inside. I left work early to take it a a pets store. After the lady handling got bit I choose to leave the son of a bitch I named MO there.. After seeing the blood coming from her hand I thoughtit would be best to do that. So that explains that picture of the lizard.. Pretty interesting not everyday you see a lizard walking outside your door...

So the word from my grandmother is that there are no more blockages in her heart.. The original test proved to have a false positvie for blockages on the back side of her heart. So that is good news..

The cat and I are loving the quiteness of the house.. Yet again an empty place that I sleep in. It seems so odd when you think that you are going to be certain places in your life and the goals you set to be there just never come true.. I yearn and long for the loving and caring of an individiual..
I had bought BB a ring for her birthday last year.. I bought it later in the year when I started making more and more money.. I told her at her birthday that I did not have enough money to really get her anything.. We barely had enough money to pay her and my bills, sO I promised her that I would make it up to her.. I knew how she really did like her birthday so much.. So a few months later I went out and bought the ring. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. I knew she would like it as well.. I was wondering what happened to the ring.. She threw it across the parking lot at me once in a fight and me and L looked for it high and low. I am sure that it no longer graces her finger... Which is ok.. I bought it for a reason. Not an engagement ring.. That we looked at later when things got better before they ended again.. This was just a ring to show her I did remember my promise and that I did care for her no matter what..
Things are healing. I am starting to accept the fact that maybe she did not love me like she thought.. or maybe she was just confused.. Either way things have been hard.. Even with the support of frineds...
I rememeber one day when I was driving and I just felt like shit. I called every friend I knew just o ask them if I was a good person. I talked to M and P. It was a time when I just needed reassurance..

I wonder if BB has moved on and found happiness.. I do not know why I wonder things like that.. But I hope she has.. I hope that she has the happiness that she could not have with me... I just wosh someday that we can reconnect.. I miss listening to her crazy stories..

I know we had something there.. Timing was just not right in our lives.. I will always have a place in my heart for her..

HELLO I have a whole blog that a I write and lament about constantly..
This helps me through things though.. I can leave my thoughts here and look back..

I have found myself spending more and more time with K. I do not want a relationship from her and she is aware of that but we spend time together.

My boss is driving me crazy.. I am working alot of hours and not seeing any of my fuits pay off..
Which is ok but sometimes I would like to see my hard work do something.

There is a roomate on the horizon, from West Africa. But something sounds fishy about it an I am a little scared about it. She is some designer of some sort. house or furniture something like that. I do not know if it is going to pan out but I am giving it a shot without closing my options from other people that are inquiring about the room for rent ad.

This time I am getting a contract signed. No doubt.

I have not been home to Nashville now going on a long time. To spend actual time there. I am thinking about taking a weekend off and jaunting back up there to see what has changed. I sure lots has. I want it to be a roadtrip with some people.

I am also supposed to plan a trip to Indy for my boy sometime this summer. I promised after this past weekend to Matt that I would come up there by the end of summer.. We shall see..

It is almost that time to go apartment/house hunting again.
I guess that is enough for now I will get on a little late tonight to finish things up..