Man ohh man...

so lets see here where to begin.. a huge recap of shit that has gone down in the past week..

Other than going to IKEA like three times to get measurements and stuff I have basically been really doing nothing but working.. figure that..

I have put alot of thought long and hard into my life and the goals I set when I was growing up.. Things that I wanted to do, places I wanted to be in my life.. I have to admit when I have set a goal in my life I have lived up to it and achieved it. I have generally never let myself down or made it a huge ordeal when I did not hit my goal and the place I wanted to be in my life. But with the events of late I am changing my outlook..

Thursday my grandmother was taken to the emergecy room.. She had a procedure that they injected dye into her spine to see what type of problems she has due to the fact that she is going to have to have a back operation. Her spine is all kind of fucked up. Well after the procedure she reacted to the drugs given to her. She could not move and was so sck that she could not eat. So going to the hospital was the only choice for her. When she got there the drugs they gave her again made her have an allergic reaction. It was like she was having a seizure she said. She could notcontrol her arms or legs and they where flailing all over the place. They gave her more medication and to no avail. Finally they gave her so much benadryl it knocked her out asleep.

While in the hospital the doctors found more blockages in her heart. This just adds to the two collasped arteries and the three other partially blocked ones. So in tune she is going in this coming Thursday for a cardiac cath, which they will find out how bad these other NEW blockages are. Two options from there. Stint the ones that they just found and fix them, or nothing at all. The new blockaes they found are on the backside of the heart and a little harder to get to, but nontheless she is on borrowed time. She has been placed on bed rest and is basically not allowed to move until Thursday.

Someone asked me why I have not gone back to see her yet. that is simple. I want to remeber this woman who infulenced my life so much the way I knew her when I left. Hurting but in decent shape. My grandfather is becoming more and more of a hassle to her as well. They just built a new house and are closing on it and moving in next week. This is a stressful situation for anyone but something she is not going to endure. I have been going through this with my grandmother for years and I cherish the moments I do have with her.
When I loose her I wil be devastated. But heck with everything else that has gone on in the past 7 months I should expect it. My grandfather will be al alone in this new house righ next to my aunt...
What will our family do?
I HAVE to go to sleep.. I have been debugging a computer all night.. it has been so screwed and infected it is not even funny..