Almost a weekly recap..

So where to begin..
Let's see..
I almost spent New Years in the hospital..
I was discharged at 3pm and told that I am a mental case..
Basically they have no idea why I go up and down so much with my blood sugar.
Three different doctors three VERY differing points..
My nursing staff though was awesome..
Cudos to them..

My new Years?
I could not have asked for a better one really..
I got a nice surprise... I thought my new years was going to be a bust..
Sitting in my hospital bed my mother might have been there might not have been..
Who knew..
But to my utmost astonishment someone showed up..
Unexpected and very nice for them to do that...
I had been discharged from the hospital and when they got there I was not there of course..
But they..
1. Remembered which hospital...
2. Was thoughtful enough to try and surprise me..
3. Made me feel really good..

When they called and asked if where I was at I was a little astonished..
I had no idea that they did that.
Taking it upon themselves to just show a softer side that I knew they had...
To me that is a really good sign..
Something that shows..

So I was going to go and meet up with Matt and a group of his friends, but since it was so thoughtful and nice of her to come down from Nashville because she did not want me to be alone..
I thought that I should spend New Years where my heart is..
With her...
I was not too excited about doing much of anyhting but when I knew she was here I really did get excited..
I really do have someone..
She is there..
Just getting things she needs to get done before me..
It is all good..
Whatever happens will happen true..
But most of the time you make those things happen..
You make the choices and live the life you want to live..
Your are the captain of your own boat..

So the rest of the weekend was spent either entertaining my mother..
Working..
Or getting the old apartment ready for the walk-through..
I went shopping AGAIN.. but this time I had a specific thing I was going after..
Alcoholic glasses.
EX: Shot glasses, Pilsners, Rocks glasses, Tumbles, Flutes, and goblets..
I basically bought every type of alcoholic glass they make.. I
I made my own set..
Why though when I am not reall a drinker?
Why Not have those things readily availiable for anyone who wants to use them...

MY mother is driving me insane..
She needs to go and go soon..
No wonder I am stressed out.
She is a good maid though..
My place is immaculate..
Bleached to the gills..
She is a cleaner allright..

She is hounding me about everything though..
I let her sleep on the new errrr new to me again bed that has graced my apartment making it complete...
Furniture complete that is..
There is still something.. err
Maybe someone missing..
Who knows..

I am going to try that new fangled thing out called a bed today and try to get some sleep on it.. I have not truel ever slept in that bed alone..
I feel that I will not be able to and just migrate back to the couch...
I will at least give it a good shot..

I worked at the second job this whole weekend..
What a blast let me tell you..
I really hope to quit this job soon enough..
I am scared to now because of the medical bills that will be coming in..
All because my blood sugar is controlled by my mind..
HUMMMMM BLOOD SUGAR RAISE HUMMMMMMM
wow it worked.. it went up to a whole 207..
J/K...

I went and looked up some more doctors with names that this time I could pronounce..
Last time I only could say about one or two of the names on my list of doctors that I had assembled..
Now that the holidays are over and I a still putting away christmas ornamets and what not..
Life will slow down a little bit..

I think that she has made the right choice..
I mean she is getting a clearer picture of everything..
There was a reason that I said no and would not let her come back so quickly..
Call me evil or what not..
But if she came back tomorrow then what would we as a couple have learned?
I think that she is getting more confidence in herself and looking at things in a little brighter light..
Everything is only as darkl and gloomy as you make it..
I honestly believe that you will come back on your own time..
I would like you to come back and stay a few.. Of course I will have to share the burden and try to work through this as muh as you..
That means no working weekends..
Means me driving to see each other..
If that is what WE want that is.

Who knows..
It is a new year and she might find something without even looking..
Ya know?

All I know is that I am tired of feeling like and these fucking foreign doctors better find someonthing wrong with me or go back to INDIA..
Oh wait...
There is a reason there are here in our country..
They do not make any money back in INDIA so they some here to get their five year tax break of making 250g a year and then buy all the gas stations and have their wives run them while the average american pays their tax dollars for the programs that brought the imigrants here..
SO WHAT THE FUCK?
I want my five year tax break!! Screw immigrating to this country..

Another thing that I am afraid will set in..
Depression..
I am scared that things are going to hit me harder in a few days..
Why?
She has been gone out of state for 2 weeks or so..
Because the holidays are over..
The business and bustle of the season that keeps your mind occupied is gone..

My mind might go idle..
But I think there is enough work around my apartment for everything to keep my busy...
Organize my underwear drawer and what not..

All the christmas decor is down..
Mother took care of that for me..
Now I just have to find a little box of some sort to hold all the christmas gear..

One more thing..
Talk to me..
Anyone.. I mean I am not a mind reader..
Just let me know about things..
Tell me how you fell..
Write me something..
Email me something..
Comment me something..
SING me something..
But for GOD'S SAKE just let me know....
SOMETHING..
ahhhhhhhhhhh..
Ok.. I must start back to work now.. I will update later and keep the masses posted on the sleeping arrangement that I have to come up with..
Me and the big empty bed.. I think me and the red couch of love is going to have a better relationship..
"I am haveing an affair with Couch.." Christopher told Bed trying to let them down softly..
"I am not soft and supple enough for you?" Bed poutingly questioned...
"Couch just loves me more and has less empty space than you,"Christopher said staring intently at the gigantic open Bed.
"I see how it is... Go to Couch... I hope they cradle you as much as I have cradled you.." Bed mumbled while crying..

HAHAH
OMG..
I just made up dialouge between my couch my bed and me..
Damn if the furniture could talk..
Shit I would be in trouble then..

Well I will stop in a little later and finish this off.. I am sure I am missing something here or there...