Well we just had a very civil conversation..
It must have been hard for her..
She talked to me and we had civil conversation..
I am impressed..
Put down some tenative plans for holiday transportation..
Getting her here and there...
Looks like she will be coming home with me and staying a night or soo..
I think she should stay at least for a while who knows.. it is not like she has anything in LITTLE VEGAS..
So here i sit now with so mny thoughts and ideas running through my head like a heard of buffalo on the historic plains of our country...
You like that oe huh...
"i miss you," to me i thinkh those words are hard to say, but they are soooo easy to hear...
They fall soeasily upon peoples ears...
Sometimes they are exactly what we want to hear at that moment and that is all we hear coming out of their mouths..
Sometimes because that is all we ear we fixate our thoughts and emotions on those three words.. because that is all we WANT to hear...
It does not matter what they say after that really for if you are looking for those words then you will revolve the whole conversation around those words...
The next words out of their mouth could be....
"I miss you but, i am ging to kill you."
But if all you want to hear is the first part that is all your going to be taking away from the conversation..
Sucks huh..
I guess it is all in how we view our own situation..
It is based upon our own hopes and dreams..
Stemming from how we where raised and what we should dream and reach for...
I know I relate to alot of things blaming them or attaching them to how children are raised, but i honestly think that has alot to do with everything..

I grew myself up..
I taught myself how to do alot of things..
There was no choice for me..
There was not alot of people in my life..
That is what make me so dependant on people sometimes.. That is what makes me so attention starved at times..
I did not have somebody there..
My mother worked LONG hours and I hated daycare so I stayed home alone at a very young age..
Second grade... Third grade.. Fourth grade..
My mother always slept when i wanted her to play..
But she was spontaneous and that is where i get mine from.. If we where out and what not, and she knew i was upset or she had scorned me for whatever reason she would just take me someplace and do something for me..
Just cause it was the only way she knew how to convey Love to me...
That is where i get that from..
You cannot buy someones love and trust you have to earn it...
I do not think I am good at that...
I try but no one is perfect in their life...
We have expctations of how it is supposed to be and when it does not turn out that way we do regret and we do get let down because that is who we are..
So on that note i am uploading this and getting back to doing nothing i my life..
It is really hard sometimes to do nothing...
Goodbye from mobile land!





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