Diabetes

So today I went to my new college course..
Diabetes 101
Well it is not really a college course but a class that will cost as much as a college course would...
To the tune of
$1600...
Insurance will not cover it..
The doctor bills are starting to stack up for all this..
Medication..
Hospital visits...
Colonoscopy..
EGD..
Cat scan..
Ultrasound..
Diabetes doctors visits..

On top of the overwhelming amount of money I am about to shell out my personal life has fallen apart..

I have thrown the person I love and lived with for the past year and months out..
They lied to me more than once..
They have no idea what they want in life..
They just do not love me like I love them..
I was holding out trying to see if things changed..
I was doing so well..
Until I found out about the lies..
All the lies..
To many to justify anymore..
But I have been told by people close to me that know my situation..
"Don't worry, everything will be ok," and "Your such a good guy why are you worrying?"
Why am I worrying..
Because I care about this person..
I love this person to death..

But if things are not returned..
Then what is the point of doing it?
What is the point of trying and trying and trying to make things work when there is an obvious?
The obvious being she does not want me in her like right now like I want her to be..
She needs to be young and free..
Making her own mistakes..
Making her own goals and dreams..

Well..
I guess she made her first one..
By letting me go..
By pulling the fleece over my eyes over and over again..
By helping her out and her not returning any of the favors..

I am done..
I have tried..
I can admit failure in my life..
and this is most definately a failure..
To bad though cause she is a great person underneath her confusion.
She will figure that out for herself one day..