Phone...

So I broke down and got a hardlined phone..
Trish wanted it more than me but it is all good..
Since I have lived on my own I have never had a telephone in my name in the place where I lived. I always felt when I felt at home and comfortable I will get one. When I knew I would not be leaving my residence.. In other words when I had my own place.
The place that I called my own.. Where when I painted the walls I did not have to worry about repainting them. The place where I could have hardwood floors and ultra shiek tiled floors with very ornate designs. I went to Expo design center the other day to kill some time.. I saw so many things that I want to call my own in my house.. I cannot wait. I looked at some condos right down the road from where I live right now. They are nothing special but it would be a place that would be my own and I could fix things to make them more modern. Updating the kitchen and bathroom. I want a free standing sink with an elevated bowl sink. That shit was awesome.
Well my wants are for sure more than my needs but hell. We all have goals in our life. I am thinking about things to do for this summer. I really want to go back to Portland and do that hike.
I am for sure going to be doing some weekend traveling. I used to do that more often when I worked for my old company and did not have as many bills as I do now.. When I was in Portalnd and talking to my grandmother she said she is glad to see me getting out again and traveling. I used to be gone all weekends because I did not have Chilis I only had FedEx and spinning when I wanted to.
Ahh who knows what is going to happen this summer. What happens...... happens. I am just glad that I have what I have right now.. I have a good job that pays great.. a semi decent place that I can start to call home.. A roomate that is cool to hang around and her friends and cough... cough... Boyfriend is also cool.. Although she claims and deny's his status...

It is really weird sometimes.. yeah you never know what you lost until it is gone.. But I guess to make yourself feel better you tell yourself to look at all the things that you do have. So as though I might has lost something that I hoped would be in my life with me.. I have realized that she has helped me.. I think about it everyday.. It does not eat me up as much as it used to...

It is funny I have two plants and two fish and a frog. They kind of are here in her place.. hahaha kind of funny but heck I would not have them if she did not want them. One of the fish died the other week.. Right before I left for Portland. The other two fish would not let it eat. I just got done cleaning the tank right before I sat down here to put down these thoughts. The plants had taken over the tank because I just kind of put that on the back burner.. I am just taking care of the tank.. and the fish..

It is funny people that have come into my life lately have been leaving me little departing gifts.. I think it is funny. Liam left half of his belongings here. I am just storing them until whenever. I have them sitting next to my bed in my room. Just collecting dust. I am cleaning house today though so I am moving and shuffling things around, trying to find a plcae for them.

So I wonder.. what has been left in your life lately? I mean what impressions or possesions have people left when they come in and leave.
There are some many things that I cannot wait to see in my life. I write really random shit. Butit does not matterit is not like I have a reading public or anything. I used to keep a written journal that I would do at night. but then well shit BB showed me an online journal and since I can type faster than I can write anything I started doing this. but then I decided that I would get my own when we started having problems when we moved down here. I had to have someplace to put down the shit that I was feeling since I did not really have anyone else to talk to. Started this.. Then started to talk to K. She helped me out. So anyways I need to get ready for work now. Gotta gomake that money.. Not much longer and I will e able to leave that job. Not like it is bad or anything. just tired of working so much. I need to start enjoying my money that I work ard for. I am almost to that point... Like my mother told me delayed gratification...